wakey wakey hands off snakey
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
