i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize