Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize