Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize