Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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