See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
My vagina just recognized that song.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
