the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize