i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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