Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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