Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
