k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
