And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
