Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
