I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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