This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
