im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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