I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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