ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Randomize
