how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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