Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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