I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
