pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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