theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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