just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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