your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
