He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
he had hair everywhere except his balls
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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