i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I don't deserve a penis
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
