I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
