my soul wont recognize me after tonight
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
