i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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