Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
