bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
