Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
