Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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