I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Ladies don't puke and tell
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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