I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
