their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
