oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
