Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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