hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Green mimosas i think yes
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
