Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
