Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize