I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
FUCK WHALES
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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