that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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