plz talk dirty to me
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
