Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
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