I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
be right there i have to get my cape
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
