In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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