...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
