I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
His hands were made for my vagina.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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