he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
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