I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize