You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
