she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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