the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
the condom got lost in my hair
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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