she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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