I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
