I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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