The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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