Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
