its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize