I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
