Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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