He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
