I could have mohawked her pubes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
