So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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