theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Holy shit dude........stairs
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
