Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
