...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
