Porn is love you can see.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
