We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
