Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize