Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
