Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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