There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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