you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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