you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
